Stage 10a: Clarity - Learning English

Stage 10a: Clarity - Learning English

Quick Jump Menu 1.Topic sentences 2.Transitions 3.Needless words 4.Emphasis 5.Rhythm 6.Straightforwardness

1.Use topic sentences

Few techniques add more clarity to your writing than well-formed topic sentences. Topic sentences usually appear at or near the beginning of each paragraph and tell the reader what the topic of the paragraph will be. Using topic sentences to "signpost" your meaning will orient the reader and help him or her follow comfortably along your path of thought.

You will discover that when a writer uses topic sentences, you can skim the entire essay and still understand the main points. The next time you read a long essay, try reading only the first one or two sentences of each paragraph. You will rarely be lost or confused if the topic sentences make clear what the purpose of each paragraph is.

•  Follow along this sample essay to see an example of topic sentences. 
•  Then, Practice with topic sentences

2.Make clear transitions

Transitions act as bridges between your paragraphs. Since each paragraph offers a distinct thought, you need to connect these two distinct thoughts in some logical way for the reader. The transitions supply the logic of how two paragraphs connect, how one idea leads to the next, or how the two are related. Don't make the reader guess how one paragraph relates to the other. The following are some common patterns for transitions:

• Not only is vegetarianism unhealthy for the human body, vegetariarismalso creates an excess of pesticides in the environment. (Here I'm transitioning from health hazards to environmental hazards.)
• In addition to problems of obesity, America's youth also suffer from increasing amounts of psychological stress. (Here I'm transitioning from obesity to psychological stress.)
• Besides violating the right to privacy, the microchip also puts children at danger in the even of information-hacking. (Here I'm transitioning from privacy to information-hacking.)

3.Omit needless words

"Omit needless words!" "Omit needless words!" This was the constant advice, says E.B. White, of his former professor, William Strunk. White says Strunk would occasionally grab a student by the lapels and shout this phrase several times, but then be almost restricted from elaborating more for fear of violating the very principle he was teaching. Omit needless words, write with concision, make your sentences succinct, cut out the fat, remove the deadwood, make every word pull its own weight -- these common phrases are all intended to convince students to streamline their prose with more efficiency and power by removing unnecessary words.

In Strunk's own words, "Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts." In other words, if you bought a new car and looked under the hood, you would be appalled to see unnecessary, functionless parts. Similarly in an essay, all sentences and paragraphs must have an essential function and purpose.

Concision can also be understood through the metaphor of dilution. A word by itself has a sense of power, but when combined with other words, the power of that word is diluted by the presence of the other words, each of which is fighting for the reader's attention. If you want to focus the reader's attention, don't dilute your best words with unnecessary phrases and elaborations. In this way, more can be less.

• Needless Words:A good basketball player is not necessarily one who is tall and dominating on the floor, or who has more height than the other players (e.g., 6'7" and above), but rather one who is keen enough to perceive strengths and weaknesses on the court, can see mismatches, liabilities, weak spots, and knows as well how to capitalize on his or her own strengths, be they speed, quickness, or explosive driving power.
• Concise: A good basketball player is not necessarily one who is tall and dominating, but rather one who can perceive strengths and weaknesses on the court, can see mismatches, liabilities, weak spots, and knows as well how to capitalize on his or her own strengths, be they speed, quickness, or explosive driving power.
• Super Concise: A good basketball player needs prudence more than height. 
• Needless Words: Rugby players must be fully prepared and always ready to immolate their almost already war-torn bodies in sacrifice, in diving ruthlessly for the leather ball, blocking with their arms extended and their legs firmly planted on the ground, always moving with tenacity and vigor and enthusiasm across the expansive green lawn, for the good of the team and the honor of the sport itself. Long live the Queen!
• Concise: Rugby players must be fully prepared to immolate their bodies in sacrifice, in diving ruthlessly for the ball, blocking with their arms extended and their legs firmly planted, always moving with tenacity and vigor across the expansive green lawn, for the good of the team and the honor of the sport itself.
• Super Concise: Rugby players sacrifice their bodies for the game.

4.Establish emphasis

Subordination and coordination allow you to emphasize different parts of the sentence, so that the more important phrase is clear. Choosing between subordinate or coordinate clauses alerts you to the hierarchical relationships between information in your sentences and allows you to stress or emphasize certain ideas more than others.

Coordination involves combining clauses in a way that puts them on equal footing, where neither clause is more emphasized than the other. Coordinate clauses are joined with one of the seven coordinating conjunctions -- and, but, or, for, so, nor, yet. On the other hand, subordination (like it's root, subordinate) involves designating one clause to be more important than the other. Subordinate clauses usually begin with although, while, or because.

• Subordinating Clauses: Although the train improved mobility and efficiency of travel, it put many cowboys out of work. (The red clause is subordinate; it does not have as much emphasis as the cowboy clause.)
• Coordinating Clauses: The train improved the mobility and efficiency of travel, and it put many cowboys out of work. (Both clauses have equal emphasis.)
• Subordinating Clauses: Even though many cowboys were out of work,they began a new culture of city dwelling that drew them together with social strength. (The red clause has less emphasis.)
• Coordinating Clauses: Many cowboys were out of work, but they began a new culture of city dwelling that drew them together with social strength.
• Subordinating Clauses: While many thought the cowboy era was over,the new city cowboys proved to be a vital, powerful force in American unpopular culture. (The red clause has less emphasis.)
• Coordinating Clauses: Many thought the cowboy era was over, yet the new city cowboys proved to be a vital, powerful force in American unpopular culture.

5.Use Rhythm

If you really want to get fancy with emphasis, you can experiment with periodic and cumulative sentences. Periodic and cumulative sentences are two advanced options for creating a strong sense of rhythm and emphasis in your sentence. The periodic sentence is one in which the main clause is considerably delayed, whereas the cumulative sentence opens quickly with the main clause, and then adds on multiple nonrestrictive clauses after it.

• Periodic sentence: Sigmund Freud, a German psychologist born in the late nineteenth century, and famous for his controversial theories about early-childhood psychological formation and other adult disorders, including suicide, patricide, and matricide, omitted essential data formulating his theories.
• Cumulative sentence: Sigmund Freud omitted essential data when formulating his theories, which involved explanations for early-childhood psychological formation and other adult disorders, including suicide, patricide, and matricide, which he developed in the early twentieth century in Germany, where he was born.
• Periodic sentence: Apparently Coca-Cola, which is currently used by its own manufacturers to clean out the engines of their trucks, as well as remove toilet stains, purify the stomach of questionable bacteria, and marinate steak in several hours (frightening facts about a substance harmlessly and thoughtlessly consumed by millions of people around the world), originally it was laced with cocaine.
• Cumulative sentence: Apparently Coca-Cola once contained cocaine, which in the early twentieth century was not thought to be harmful taken in small doses, especially when the dose was only 1/1400 of a grain per bottle, hardly something to give one a heavy addiction, yet still strong enough to mildly lure one to consuming the soda, which was not so different from various medicines at the time, also containing slight trace amounts of cocaine, practically unavoidable byproducts from cocoa leaves.
• Cumulative: "I wish I could give you fresh material, but I can't," said Max King, another classmate, who went on to edit The Philadelphia Inquirer and now, by coincidence, is president of the Heinz Endowments, the wealthy Pittsburgh charity of which Mr. Kerry's wife, Teresa, is the chairwoman. (The New York Times, 16 May 2004, "Prep School Peers Found Kerry Talented, Ambitious, and Apart.")

5.Be straightforward

Beyond any of the above techniques, you can increase the clarity of your writing by practicing a general straightforwardness in the expression of your ideas. Look over your sentences and ask yourself whether they communicate their ideas in the clearest way possible. You may want to pretend that a twelve-year-old will be reading your text. Will he understand what you're talking about? Remember that while your reader may possess more sophistication than a young child, you don't want to make the reader struggle to follow your ideas. Keep your meaning simple and easy to understand.

To really be clear, you might try talking out your sentences. Imagine yourself saying what you've written to a friend sitting beside you. If you can imagine yourself speaking to your friend with the same sentences you've written, chances are your writing is probably clear and easy to follow. On the other hand, if you can't see yourself saying what you've written to anyone, consider revising it to make it more readable. Go back and revise your sentences to make them friendlier, clearer, more straightforward.